Mission Statement Rough Draft

Richard Writes:

The mission of xxx is to help those new to long haul trucking to more fully experience the "Joy of Trucking". 

Whereas those new to trucking would like confidential independent advise n direction on various aspects from experienced truckers

1. NOT related to their employer on various situations.
2. On understanding and enjoying Life on the Road.
3. Developing a greater  "Wellness " in body mind and spirit
4. Manage road expenses to minimize their costs
5.  Be aware of experienced Tricks of the Trade

The purpose is to assist those new to trucking to  more quickly adjust to Life on the Road and develop a satisfying trucking career

.

We will provide an experienced "Friend in the Trucking Business" to all clients thus empowering them to a successful trucking career.

Dennis Responds:

I don't see the website as a vehicle for being out in the world right now. In time yes, but for now it is a place for us to do our work. We can post video and pictures on the site as well.

When I was in college the one thing I learned about writing and criticism was to appreciate. I had one poetry class where the professor tore me up! But I accepted because it was to benefit me. One classmate after the class said he should buy me a beer for what I went though. I ended up doing an independent class with him.

So, in that light here is my feedback to your rough draft on a mission statement:

First of all it strikes me, as a driver, as some sort of MBA executive talking to me and not with me.  We are experts and drivers, one and the same. Being expert does not come just from being a driver, but our personal motivations combined make us experts.

Also what you have written as if you are gearing for Life Coaching. To me this could  be a spin off, but a bit out of range of putting together a foundation to work from.